Poor Dino. He puts up with a lot. He wanted us to be married by now, and the fact that I decided we should wait over a year is probably killing him. He's told me on many occasions that he just wants to be married already!
It's weird, though, to think about the timing. We got to arbitrarily pick a day that we would start our married life together. I wanted enough time to plan without stressing out (ha!), and we both wanted to be outside for a portion so the summer was ideal. A weekend made the most sense for our friends and family. Then we just picked a day we thought sounded good, and voila! Our wedding date, future anniversary date, and one of the most special days of our lives was decided!
Now I'm wondering if we should have moved the day closer to our engagement. It would definitely not suck to be married right now. I'm getting to the point where I'm ready to just BE MARRIED. It's not like all that much will change, right? I know some people say you feel different, but we're already living together, we're already acting as a support system for each other, and we're already taking care of each other. We won't know each other any better, presumably, and we won't change who we are, other than wearing a ring on a daily basis (and I already do that, so it'd just be another ring!), and my last name will change. We're not going to start trying to have kids anytime soon, even (not until after the next World Cup!). The #1 thing I'm looking forward to is being able to be on his health insurance - how romantic!
So I do want a wedding, and I would always regret it if we skipped that step, but I'm ready for it to be here already. I'm tired of making decisions and thinking about little details that honestly won't impact the day or our marriage much at all! I'm tired of thinking about money and budgets and worrying about who to invite.
I know this is just a moment of overwhelmed-ness, and that I'll get over it and back into the excitement soon, but for right now, I'm ready to just be married.
In the end, I am actually incredibly thankful that we picked a day next summer. I'm glad I have the time to stop and think about this stuff, and had the time to wrap my head around this event. But more than anything, I'm glad we are waiting for my mom. When we picked the day, we didn't know about her cancer. She's been fighting so hard lately, and it's taken a toll on her in so many ways, so I am glad she will get some time to fight, rest, and recover before all the wedding stuff rolls around. I can focus more of my time on her and trying to be there for her because I do have this time. I want her to be able to enjoy our wedding, without her health making it more difficult. I know she is looking forward to it, and I like to think that having the wedding coming up is just a little extra something good to think about.
Maybe the main reason I am ready to just be married already is because I am so impatient!
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