If I didn't have a job...

My job is kind of terrible.  I'm bored 90% of the time, am paid about 1/3 of what I should be making, and just generally don't feel like it's what I should be doing.  But I'm still here for a couple reasons: I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, I've interviewed for and not gotten a couple jobs, and up until recently, it was actually quite nice to be able to work on wedding stuff while at work.  And I think my ideal "job" would be housewife.  I spend all day at work imagining what I would do if I didn't have to be here...

1. Plan and cook amazing meals every day
2. Work out every day
3. Clean the house
4. Sell leftover wedding things and unnecessary furniture online
5. Craft
6. Paint the front room
7. Organize the wedding leftovers
8. Go to the library
9. Go to the zoo
10. Start blogging more regularly
11. Begin the process to be able to bake and sell my delicious cookies
12. Learn to sew
13. Garden / fix up our yard
14. Laundry
15. Sleep in!

I do know that in reality I probably would be much lazier and get barely anything done, but if I don't have the chance to try then how will we ever know?!  I just feel so rushed and overwhelmed pretty much all of the time, and it doesn't seem like it should be that way.  It would be nice to be able to take life at my own pace, where I could maybe feel caught up and on top of things for once.  

I'm still not sure I really want to have kids (I keep wavering back and forth, so it's a good thing we have a while to decide!), but if we do I can guarantee that I'll be staying home with them.  And that is the #1 reason I want to have kids (at this very moment, but it changes every minute!).

Is being a housewife really as wonderful as I've imagined it?  Is it lonely or boring at all?  I could see that...  I can also bet I'd be annoying and clingy to my husband when he's home!  

Post-Wedding Emotions

The day after the wedding was kind of a haze.  We woke up and had brunch with my out of town family.  We went home and unloaded all kinds of boxes of stuff.  And the mound of presents was huge!  We opened the gifts, but didn't keep a list and planned to just come back to it later (stupid!).  Then we packed up for the honeymoon and were dropped off at the airport.

At the airport, we finally had time to breathe and chill.  Our flight wasn't until midnight, so we had awhile to hang out.  At that point, I started actually thinking about how we were married, and how my name is different now.  It was weird.  And I was sleep deprived and probably a little overwhelmed by all the love from the previous day, so it wasn't the best time to process everything.

It's such a crazy huge thing, though.  My name that I've identified myself with for 27 years is now history.  I have a new name, one that doesn't feel nearly as comfortable, nearly as "ME" as my old one.  It's something to grow into.

I think I was a little bit in a daze here too!  Photo by Jenny GG

Now it's been over a month since the wedding, and it feels almost as if it was a dream.  Or like that day was the dress rehearsal.  It feels like there should have been some huge momentous shift, something that physically changed, or like it should have been more of an ordeal.  Instead it was pretty easy, and once we got home from the honeymoon, aside from new titles (I have barely referred to "my husband" but each time it weirds me out!), it feels like before the wedding.  We're still the same people, we're still committed the same amount (truly, we were already in this for the long haul), and we just happened to have thrown a crazy awesome party.

I am grateful for such an awesome day, and so glad it went well, but...  it feels like it was so long ago!  Looking at the photos again certainly helps.  Remembering the feelings too.  But when I look back, sometimes it doesn't seem real or doesn't seem as significant as it should be.  I don't know if it ever will!  Maybe when we have some pictures up on our walls, or I get to introduce my "husband" more.  Maybe it still hasn't sunk in really.  Who knows!

Is this normal?  Or do most people feel a huge change once the wedding is over and the marriage has started?

Vendors, aka Grow a Spine

The #1 hardest thing for me in the whole planning process was dealing with vendors.  I don't like talking to people I don't know, I am bad about asking for things, and hate being a bother.  With vendors, you absolutely have to talk to them, ask for things, and contact them constantly.  There's no real good way to get around that!

I didn't clarify things enough with the caterer until it was fairly late, I didn't tell the DJ I wanted him to stick to the timeline no matter what, and I didn't ask our photographer where the photos were until over a week (maybe 2?) after she had finished editing them (we had seen them all online, but want the actual copies without watermarks!).  I also had an issue with my dress, it wasn't getting fixed like I wanted until I started crying a couple days before the wedding in the dress shop.  These are all pretty much my own fault.  And I wish I had been better about making sure we were all on the same page and telling everyone what I expected (ideally in a calm, cool, and collected manner, not after letting it all build up and come out with tears...).  But I am also pretty lucky in that I didn't have anything really majorly go wrong in the end, in fact it went really well.

So basically I think planning a wedding with vendors is 60% communication, 30% trust, and 10% luck.

I feel like I still have a long ways to go with standing up for myself with people, but planning the wedding definitely helped me work on it a bit.

See - I totally have a spine somewhere in there!  Photo by Jenny GG

I keep thinking if I could do it all over again, I would be so much more assertive, but it honestly did go really well.  Or I would have hired a planner/DOC who would have been assertive for me.  That might have been a better plan...!

What's in a Name?

I'm in name limbo!  I have a new social security card, a paper drivers license, and a new credit card.  A new debit card is on it's way, as well as some other cards.  So some things have one name, and some have another at this point.  But honestly?  This name changing thing has been so much simpler than I imagined!

Here are my steps to changing your name:

1. Think it is going to be really hard and take forever.  This sets you up to be pleased when it isn't that difficult and takes less time.
2. Change your facebook name.  Bonus points for doing this on your wedding day.
3. Send in a request for certified marriage certificate copies.  Anticipate it will take a couple days, it will take about a week.  Only get 1, maybe 2 copies.  3 is not necessary, everyone gives it back.
4. Practice your new signature while you wait.  It is super weird.
5. Go to the social security office with your marriage certificate and already completed form.  Wait about 15 minutes, get up to the window, have their computer barely work so it takes another 15 minutes to enter your info from the form, verify it is correct, and go on your merry way.  The card arrives in like a week.
6. Don't wait to go to the Department of Licensing!  They don't need to see your new social security card!  Just take the $10, your marriage certificate, and your old ID, and go at a weird time, not at lunch, and not the first day in the week they are open.  That will cut down on the wait.
7. Search your credit card website frantically to see how to change your name.  Get confused, and send an email.  It is way way easier and less involved than you think.  They take care of it and send a new card lickity split.
8. Search your bank's website for info about how to change your name.  Give up and call.  Find out it is easiest and quickest to take your marriage certificate into a branch.  Do so, and it is about 15 minutes of your time.  
9. Create a new email address with your new name (if you do that sort of thing) and start migrating subscriptions and things over.  Get annoyed that gmail can't just migrate everything, like your calendar and music.  Find an easy way to copy the calendar over and celebrate.  
10. Compile an extensive list of everything linked to your old name.  Create a google doc, and keep adding as you remember things.  Rewards cards, insurance, social media, etc. etc.  It's amazing how many things you keep thinking of!
11. Work your way down the list as you go.  This needn't be an immediate thing, but knocking out a bunch at once is nice.  Make sure to cross them off so you remember you actually did change them already!
12. Get used to seeing your new name everywhere, and remind yourself that it won't be that weird in a year.  Or two.  Or maybe longer.  We'll see.

There you have it!  An easy, 12 step process!  Okay, so maybe it's more time consuming than I realized, but it's something I'll only be doing once, and it kind of helps remind me that I have a new name now.  I'm also not doing very well at phasing out the old email address...  But that takes time!

Regrets

Our wedding was pretty darn awesome.  I know everyone says it, but it was basically the best wedding ever.  We had lots of comments that it was the best wedding people had attended, though I feel like a lot of people just say that, and I think people generally enjoyed themselves quite a bit.  However, I do have a couple of minor regrets.

1. One of our champagne flutes was broken in transit.  Granted, we had 2 sets, so we still were able to use one of them, but I was so bummed!  Especially since the broken ones were given to us by a friend who was there.  I want to get that replaced still...
2. We didn't say hi to probably half of the people.  We stupidly started greeting tables with our friends who we knew would stay longer, instead of my mom's friends who left fairly early.  I feel pretty bad about that.
3. We didn't stick to the schedule like, at all!  Cake cutting was way later than intended, we didn't get to do any cocktail hour because the dj was waiting for everyone to be seated, and family photos were pushed back.  And we ended a half hour early because everything was being packed up and people were leaving.
4. We forgot to say thanks after the toasts!  We meant to, but hadn't prepared anything.
5. We haven't gotten our photos back yet, but in a guest photo of the cake cutting... I'm leaning on the stage while feeding Dino.  What?  Why?  I look like such a lazy slob or something!  Terrible.
6. I didn't really get any bridal portaits.  At least I don't remember taking anything like that.
7. The photobooth wasn't announced enough so not many people got in there to take pictures.  Bummer.

Another regret not noticed until later: We were OFF CENTER FOR THE ENTIRE CEREMONY.  Like, horribly off center.  It started off a bit off center, then got worse.  Argh.  Photo by Jenny GG

Overall, though, pretty great.  Can't wait for the photos still!  Some of our friends have had photo sessions with our photographer in the last week, and both sets found out she's editing them right now...  yikes!  So any day now!  (Edited to add the photo above - photos are awesome overall!)

I'm Married!

It's official, I am a wife, and have a husband!  I seriously never thought I'd see the other side of the wedding, but here we are!  It's incredible the emotions I've felt the last couple of weeks.

Here's why I am so glad the wedding is over:

• So much less stress
• No more guest drama (so and so isn't coming and didn't tell me, so and so is coming, blah blah blah)
• All my to-do lists can be retired
• I don't have to worry about everything actually happening
• No more communicating with vendors
• No more worrying about weather

But the day itself was AH. MAZE. ING.  Like, seriously.  The weather turned out to be way better than expected, even better than I could have ever hoped!  My dress was beautiful, and Dino was so surprised by it and loved it.  The flowers were incredible, so beautiful and so perfect.  The ceremony was pretty quick, but there wasn't a dry eye in the house when my father-in-law, our officiant, started to tear up and lose it during his message.  It was so special to have him marry us, and have our best friends and brothers stand up with us.  The food was so delicious (even if I couldn't fit much in with my tight dress) and the cake turned out lovely and tasted better than anything.  The toasts were so heartfelt and had a great mix of jokes and sentiment, they truly made us feel like not only were we the coolest people ever, but that we are meant to be together since everyone else sure seems to think so!  I got more hugs from small children than I can count, and more compliments than ever before.  There was so much love surrounding us, so many smiles and laughs, happy tears and all!  The dance floor was never empty, and neither was my heart!  

I just can't get over how wonderful it all was!  I am dying to get pictures back, because the sneak preview we've seen is, obviously, incredible.  

Seriously.  Can you believe that sky?  And how fun are the ribbon wands?  Does it look like some are spelling "JOY" behind my head or what?!?!  Photo by Jenny GG

And I hope she captured the little things I wasn't able to see, like people blessing our rings on the ring tree, or our brothers putting on their bright colored sunglasses during the recessional!  

I can't believe it is all over, but at the same time, I'm so relieved.  Now we get to start the rest of our lives together, and hopefully live happily ever after!  

I feel like I want to share the beautiful day with the whole world, and might do some sort of recap once we get the photos.  But I do want to talk about our honeymoon for sure, and there was a lot that I never posted beforehand!  Man.  Weddings are awesome, yo.

It's the Final Countdown (like, in hours, not even days really!)

I can't believe this journey is almost over!  All of these crazy ideas in my head, all of my visions, all of our hard work and discussions...  they're all about to become reality.  And I just seriously can't wrap my head around it!

So so much has been happening lately, all the little loose ends are being tied up, all the project being completed, and all the excitement is about to explode.  One thing we left kind of late in the process, though, was writing our vows.  And it is shaping up to be so different than I expected.

I'm somewhat of a writer.  I feel I can express myself through writing much better than through speaking, and can make my thoughts come across so much better.  Dino is not a writer.  He gets stumped, feels uncreative, and just gets annoyed when trying to put his thoughts into words on paper.  However, I desired the intimate, personal, special vows so many people seem to do lately, where each party writes their own and it's a secret until the ceremony.  I took a basic format, a fill-in-the-blanks setup, and gave one to him and filled out one myself.  I thought it wasn't terribly difficult, composed a few different versions, and planned to edit them all together.  Dino, on the other hand, spent an evening locked up trying to fill it in, and hated every minute.  He scoured the internet for inspiration, managed to get a draft, but felt so little confidence in it and when I walked in to the room, he just looked angry and annoyed.  And then I felt guilty for making him do something he clearly despised.  He was also concerned that my vows to him would be beautiful and so meaningful, and his would seem terrible and flimsy in comparison, even though we planned to have his dad review them ahead of time and make sure they went together okay.

So, the next day, I wasn't surprised when he wanted to compromise and change our plan.  He suggested we write our vows together, say the same vows, and he would write me a letter or card with all his feelings and thoughts in it.  He felt so much pressure from my plan to each write our own, and I hated that, so I readily agreed.  And it's actually been really a good decision.

Together, we wrote the vows, and have been trying to revise them to make them perfect.  We laid in bed writing together, talking about what we want to express, and practicing reading them to each other.  It was seriously amazing.  Far more meaningful and intimate than writing secret vows alone and reading them once to each other.  And though we know what the other will be pledging during the ceremony, it's almost nicer that way because I will be more likely to remember and be present, rather than worrying how my vows will go over and compare to his, and we've made sure to include what was most important to us.

So while I still like the secret, personalized, individual vows, I'm starting to think this compromise is a much better plan, especially for us.  I'm glad we talked it over and we both feel confident about the vows now!

It's the Final Countdown!

I'm still chugging along here in the real world, trying to get everything finished, all the last minute things tied up, and all the decisions made!  The to-do list still looks fairly long, but it really doesn't feel like there is much left that has to be done.  In fact, my current list reads something like:

• Table assignments
• Make escort cards
• Make and print programs
• Finish ribbon wands
• Fix the table numbers 
• Send last info to venue
• Get ties/socks for dudes
• Make and freeze cookie dough (bake day or two before)
• Write vows
• Discuss videographer - if we want friends to help out
• Get Dino to pick a reader for our second reading
• Buy candle holders
• Finish alterations
• Pick final music selections
• Make and print final timelines for everyone

And that's about it!  Mostly little things, stuff that won't take too long to do, it is just the carving out time to actually sit down and do it that seems to be the problem!

It really is amazing how time just keeps ticking along!  It feels like I was just thinking about getting everything done early, and now it's past early - we just have to get everything done!  

Yesterday we attended the first wedding this summer - it was gorgeous.  The weather was beautiful, the setting was amazing, and the people were so in love and fantastic.  I teared up during the vows, to hear them say "take you as my lawfully wedded husband" and "the future father of my children" - wow.  It just hit me so hard!  I'm so so happy for them, and glad we could join in the merriment and excitement of the day.  

And next weekend we get to travel for another wedding, which should be an adventure as well!  But before that, I'm hoping to check off at least 5 or 6 items off that list this week...  Yikes!

The Tunes: First Dance

With the invitations almost all out the door now (holding some back, since we are inviting WAY MORE than can fit...), we're finally hitting on some decisions we've had on the back burner.  Right now, it's music.

We are both crazy indecisive, though, and both want to pick the "right" music, so we're having some trouble. Our first song we tried to tackle was the FIRST DANCE...

The first dance song has to be slow enough to dance to, sound lovely, preferably be by an artist we both know and like, and have good lyrics with a positive sentiment.  This has caused us to throw out quite a few songs...

After some searching, I decided "Hold On" by Michael Buble would be perfect!  I loved it, it had a good tempo, I love his sound, and at first listen, the lyrics are nice: inspirational, talking about love, toughing through the hard times...

Actually, after listening to it again, it seems a lot more positive and happy than it did last night...  But Dino thought it was too much of a downer, with some of the lyrics.  So we dismissed that song.

This next one I stumbled on, and liked.  Dino actually likes this one, and if we don't pick another, this'll be our fall-back.  "Brighter Than Sunshine" by Aqualung.

Apparently the word "Sunshine" is happier, and a nice sentiment.  Plus we're hoping for sun on the wedding day.

Dino also didn't hate "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Callait, but he wasn't a huge fan of She & Him's "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me" (even though I not so secretly want to be Zooey Deschanel's BFF or maybe just be her...).

We have a pretty big list that I've compiled to go through still, but I have a feeling most will be too fast ("Forever" by Walter Meego was dismissed for that reason, along with "Everything" by Michael Buble, even though the lyrics of the latter would have been perfect!) or just too weird for him.  I'm wondering what he'll think of "Strangers in the Wind" by Cut Copy, for example, since he loves the band, but it might be a little fast and not sentimental enough.  I'm currently going through the list to cull out the ones I know he'll hate!

Any suggestions?  It's so hard to narrow it down, when what I would consider "our song" is "Thing for Me" by Metronomy, which is not exactly slow-dance-able (except by robot or other crazy dance, and we don't want people to think we're that weird, though we totally are).

The Clock is Ticking Down...

We're almost to the point where we can get our marriage license!  Wow.  Time is moving so fast.

We also had a meeting with our caterer.  It, too, was really fast.  Like, 20 minutes.  We either were so prepared that it was easy or we were so unprepared that we couldn't decide anything.  I think it was mostly the first one, with a tiny bit of the second mixed in.  But it was nice to chat about it and get a better idea of the day.  We picked linens, and showed them a prelim layout.

Lets see...  We also have the invitations in our hot little hands, and are slowly working to get them sent out.  My only concern is... HOW IN THE WORLD CAN I PRINT ON THE ENVELOPES?!?!?  I used to print on envelopes alllll the time at my last job, like, seriously, every day.  So for these I did a mail merge, I got it all formatted, and they won't even PRINT.  Not even print in the wrong place or print with the wrong font or anything, they just refuse to print anything.  The printers don't recognize that I'm printing a document.  I am so confused.  And I've tried on the work printer (shhh...) and at home, and tried with 3 different computers!  I just think that printing directly on them wasn't meant to be.

So labels it is.  I already gave up and printed labels for the RSVP envelopes last night, and got those prepped.  Also put stamps on 2/3 of those.  Used our sweet return address stamp on the back of all the main envelopes too.  All the invites have ties around them and the hang tags, and I've numbered all the RSVP cards with invisible ink (just in case).  All that is left is actually slipping the RSVPs and their envelopes into the ties around the invites, then putting them into the envelopes with the labels (but I want to get the labels on first so I can keep the numbered RSVPs in order...).

Really hope I can get these invites sent out tomorrow or Saturday!

We made a huge to-do list that still needs to be filled in...  So that isn't helpful yet!

And we had our first counselling session last week, which basically was telling us what we already knew (we're awesome, but I can be stubborn and he/we can be passive and pushovers, so I need to listen to him more and not always get my way.)

And the game plan for my bachelorette has been set, and the first of my bridal showers is coming up soon!

So lots has been going on, and life in general has been crazy.  I should break this down, or at LEAST add photos, but I will try to do that by topic later.  Geesh!

Please sign in!

About a year ago, I would think of some random detail for the wedding, and go off frantically searching for the best option for an hour or two, realize we still had a lot of time to make a decision, and leave it for the time being.  One of these details that I searched for multiple times was the guest book.  But now, with under 100 days left, I think it is time to actually make a decision!

I won't lie, I immediate dismissed the idea of a fingerprint tree.  I really don't like the idea of my fingerprint being on someone else's wall, or anyone's being on mine.  It's just a little weird.  Lucky for me, Dino totally agrees.

But I do love trees.  We're trying to work in some wood elements into the decor, so a tree would actually fit quite well.  At my cousin's wedding, they did a tree where you signed a leaf and stuck it to the tree, which was very cute.  But I don't want to copy them!  So this is a nice alternative:

Cool wooden tree, with signatures.  Photo via Etsy seller TotallySalinda

I also like the idea of incorporating the rain, since we're in Seattle.  Hopefully it won't be raining on the wedding day, but I do like images of rain!  I think something like this could be cool, except with rain drops you sign and put on the print, rather than fingerprints...

I can't decide if I like the caricatures or not, but it's a cute idea!  Photo via Teardrop Paperie

Back to the wood theme, here is a "Guest Log."  I love this idea because of the pun involved!  Yep, my humor is pretty terrible sometimes, but it makes me giggle, and I think it looks cool.

See, it's funny 'cause it looks like a crosssection of a log, but it's also a record, or log, of people who attended!  Image via 100LayerCake

Dino's family has a tradition of putting together puzzles together at Christmas, and I have always enjoyed puzzles, so I like this next idea because of that connection.  I was also thinking we could attach an escort card to a blank puzzle piece, so everyone got one to fill out, but I have a feeling more than one wouldn't make it back to us, and there is nothing worse (okay, lots of things are worse) than a puzzle with a piece missing!  Also, it would be ridiculously hard to solve this puzzle, since there is no image to go off of...  But I still like it!

So fun and personal!  Image via Etsy Seller BellaPuzzlesToo

This idea combines the puzzles with the trees.  And I LOVE it.  Aside from the price tag, which is a little higher than I would like to spend.  But it looks so cool, and is just awesome!

See? They can even do custom shapes hidden in the puzzle, like a heart, or a cupcake, or something else meaningful!  Image via Etsy Seller KeystonePuzzles

The last idea is fairly common these days, and might be what we end up using.  The engagement photo book.  I even went ahead and made a book, using Picaboo (with a hefty discount!).  Dino had mentioned that he thought we should just keep it simple, and liked this idea, plus I figured we'd want a book with our engagement photos anyway.  The only problem is that I didn't leave enough white space, I have a feeling, and I'm worried someone will give us mustaches.  But it is an option, and a reasonable one considering we now have the book, and would just need to get some pens.

Which would you use?  A more traditional engagement photo book, or something more out of the box?

Under 100!

We've reached a fairly big milestone: we have less than 100 days left until the wedding!  Double digits, baby!  Heck yes!

And we are just about ready to cross another big item off the list: invitations!  After designing probably 15 different invitations, and not being able to agree on anything, from font to wording to text placement... I found some invitations online that I liked, ordered a sample, and we fell in love.  Dino said "Let's just get these!" when I showed him the sample, and my mom, in typical wonderful mom fashion, gushed over them and said we HAD to get them.  She went so far to say that the look of them was not too fussy, a bit modern, and very much just like us, which I like!  So I ordered them last night, and am going to go over the proofs with Dino tonight, and hopefully we'll have some beautiful invitations in our hot little hands in less than 2 weeks!  Man!

I've also been DIY-ing some, but I'll save all of that for separate posts.  Lets just say my hands are tired of all the sanding, and I'm getting excited to break out the spray paint!  

Finally, my grandma is doing somewhat better now.  She is physically just about fine, able to walk, sit up, feed herself, and all that.  But her memory is still mostly gone.  She seems to remember her husband, and asks for him, but doesn't really remember my dad, her son, or any of us.  We went to see her on Mother's Day, and my dad "introduced" me to her, and she didn't say the right name (a similar sounding name that is more common instead).  Granted, she's been hard of hearing for awhile, but the fact that my name didn't come to her mind first makes me sad and worry that her memories of me are gone.  She should be transferred to a rehab center where they will work with her more closely to regain her memories.  It was super weird to hear her voice say nonsensical things, like she told my brother that he wasn't hiding the things, which my dad somehow translated to mean he hadn't shaved (my brother keeps a pretty rugged beard these days!).  She told me to turn on the green machine, which I can't really translate, except that I used to drive a green Jeep, and I was into environmental studies in college...  While we were there for like, 20 minutes, she said "wake me when it's Thursday" probably 10 times, then either slept, or faked sleeping.  It was so weird to hear her saying some things she totally would have said, in a voice she totally would have used, but not to be herself inside.  I think the fact that there were 5 of us visiting at once scared her a little, and she seemed really nervous and kept talking about how cold it was and hiding.  Basically, it was weird, and she wasn't my grandma that I know, but I believe she is making some progress, which is hopeful.

So things are pretty much okay right now.  Lots of great things, some good things.  I can't believe that in less than 100 days my love and I will be married and this whole wedding planning journey will be over!

Family

I love my family.  I was blessed to be born into a loving, fun, and just overall wonderful family.  My parents are amazing.  My brother, who is actually staying with us right now, is the coolest kid, incredibly smart and funny, and just all around a great guy (ladies, he's single!!!).  I'm so happy my brother will be my "bridesdude," and that my parents are enjoying planning this wedding so much.

I have cousins, and aunts and uncles, spread all over the US, but they all are kind, caring, and hilarious people.  Seeing them, even if it has been years, feels right and you settle back into familial relationships.  I have cousins and and aunt and uncle who live closer too, who feel basically like an extension of my immediate family.  We celebrate all birthdays and most holidays together.

And then more than anything, I am super lucky to have all four of my grandparents living still.  They all live about 8 hours away, and I've discussed before that I don't think my mom's parents will be able to make the wedding.  But my dad's parents?  The grandparents who recently took a 6 month trip across the US in an RV, who are incredibly self sufficient in and decent health?  Well, I was certain they would be at the wedding!

But life happens, and throws a wrench in my plans.  I don't know why I assumed my elite status as a grandchild with all grandparents living and healthy would never change.  But it might very soon.

My grandma, my Gammy, is in the hospital.  She fell and hit her head, had cranial bleeding and broke her spine in a couple spots.  So she had surgery for that, and it went well.  The next day, however, she had a stroke, and kept having mini strokes.  She currently doesn't recognize any of her family, and isn't terribly responsive.  It's really weird.  Physically, she is pretty much fine now, but because of the surgery they can't treat the stroke.  Which means I might never get my Gammy back.  I might never again hear her crazy sneeze, or get a big bear hug, or hear her talk about all sorts of people I never remember.  It's weird.  It's weirder still for my grandpa, Papa.  Seeing him alone?  It's just so weird.

Dino lost both of his grandmas in the past few years, which has been strange to me.  So now, I don't know if we'll have a single grandma at our wedding, which sounds crazy self centered and lame, but I can't bear to think of not getting a picture with Gammy, or having her there.  I see that picture with the hands of three generations of women and their rings, and I probably won't get that photo for myself.  I'm so glad she got to meet Steve, and that she liked him.

Mostly, its the suddenness.  Sure, my grandparents have been getting older, and she's been slowing down, but they're still travelling all the time!  I went to see her today, and it's not the same person at all in that hospital bed.  So strange.

Whatever happens, I am glad my family is around her and we will be there for each other as well.  I am hoping for a miracle!

The Sweetest Thing

So now that we kind of sort of have our cake topper sorted out, maybe I should tell you about what it will be perched on?  Honestly, the cake is my favorite part of any wedding, or day, or basically life.  I LOVE cake.  And I posted earlier about the first stop on our journey to find a cake.

We decided to cut our losses with that baker, and move on.  I'm sure the cake they would have made would have tasted fine, and looked nice, but I just wasn't feeling it.  And sometimes you have to go with your gut.

Once we started to look for bakers again, I contacted a couple and one sent me a photo of a chevron cake she had done, and it just looked messy and not very crisp.  I started to think my idea of a beautiful chevron cake in fondant might not be possible, or at least I didn't feel confident that it would look perfect.  And besides, what the cake looks like is important, but I think that what it tastes like is even more important; it is crucial to have a delicious cake!

A long time ago, I noticed that Central Market, an awesome grocery store (where Top Chef did some shopping when they were in town!  I saw them filming there!), makes cakes.  Not just your typical grocery store sheet cake either.  Beautiful, tiered cakes!

Three cake examples from Central Market.  Above three images via Central Market

They don't use fondant, so the cake won't be quite as smooth and fancy.  But they do have the ability to make stripes or other designs in the frosting, and it will look beautiful.  We set up an appointment to meet with a baker there, and part of setting up the appointment included us picking 4 flavor combinations for a test cake.  We asked for lemon cake with raspberry and lemon filling and white whipped cream frosting, white cake with strawberry filling and white whipped cream frosting and white chocolate truffle, champagne with champagne filling and white chocolate truffle, and marble cake with caramel filling and chocolate whipped cream filling.  And then we patiently waited two weeks.

When we went for our appointment, she brought out the sample cake (which had all four flavors, each quarter different), we drooled over it, and we talked about design.  We were just throwing out ideas, but they are able to make one tier taller than the others, like I hoped, and it will be three round tiers with stripes on one tier, the other two smooth.  We also discussed logistics, in that they make the cake the morning of the wedding, and then we would have to pick it up to bring it to the venue.  Then we took the sample cake home, and I dove right in.

I had had a slice of Central Market cake before, so I knew it was tasty, but OH MAN it was delicious.  The lemon raspberry was my favorite by far, but the strawberry was also tasty.  I think we should only have one fruit flavor, though, and mix in a chocolate or something.  The chocolate/marble caramel was also amazing, and was actually my second favorite (strange coming from someone who never picks the chocolate dessert). The champagne was... weird.  It tasted EXACTLY like the pink sweetheart conversation heart candies.

I am so mad they changed the flavors for these.  I used to love the white, yellow, orange, and green ones (in that order)!!!  But always hated the pink and purple flavors...  Image via Google Image Search

We later had my parents up to taste the cakes (because we couldn't justify eating an entire cake by ourselves....  but lets be honest, I probably ate over 50% of the cake anyway!), and they agreed that the lemon raspberry was the best.  My dad thought the chocolate/marble caramel was too sweet, so we were thinking maybe the hazelnut or almond fillings instead of the caramel.  I later went by the Central Market bakery and bought a marble hazelnut fudge slice of cake to taste.  We decided we don't like the heaviness of the fudge, and I wished you could taste the hazelnut more (Nutella, anyone?), so now I'm hoping sometime there will be an almond flavor to try!

We haven't signed on the dotted line yet, but it is imminent!  Plus I love that on our anniversary we could always go in and order a little cake, instead of saving the top tier, and it'll be fresh and delicious.

Did you have a "grocery store cake" at your wedding?  And did you love the flavors of the old conversation hearts too?  Ugh, I could (and have) rant about how upset I am that they changed the flavors for hours!

The Look: The Shoes

Now to the part of the ensemble that I think is the most important, yet will probably hardly be seen...  The shoes!

I actually bought shoes before we were engaged, because I simply had to have them.  They are awesome, and pink!  But once we picked our venue, and decided to have the ceremony outside, I started to worry if the skinny heels were a bad decision.  So I bought Sole Mates, and also kept looking for pink wedges, flats, and sandals.

These beauties are by Kelly & Katie from DSW, and were already not available over a year ago, so I had to have them tracked down after I failed to purchase them when I first saw, and fell in love with, them.  And the Sole Mates are on them here.  Personal Photo

I bought some hot pink flats a few months ago just because, and then it occurred to me that they might be fun wedding shoes.  But I wear them already, so are they special enough?  (No, I don't know why my shoes must be special and/or new, but it just seems like it...?  Oh WIC...)  I also bought sparkly silver flats, that are a little tight, but super cute.

The pink ones are Steve Madden, from DSW, and the silver are from Payless Shoe Source.  Personal Photos

Then just this week I bought some pink sandals.  Can't wait for them to arrive to see how I like them!  They are, however, labeled as "coral," which has been such a pain in the butt.  I'm mad at a color.  Coral is EVERYWHERE right now, so I can't find nearly as many purely bright pink shoes!  And coral can vary so much from a pretty pinkish color to a super orange-ish color, so you never really know.  My fingers are crossed that I'll love these.  (if not for the wedding, I'm sure I'll be able to wear them all summer!)

The almost-too-orange coral sandals, by Shoes of Soul.  Image via Zulilly.com

Complicating the shoe issue is my arthritis.  About a year ago, my foot started to hurt after running, and my toe swelled up, and I got these weird nodules on my joints.  A foot doctor and a dermatologist later, and I'm pretty sure I have arthritis.  Now if I stand for too long or walk too much the ball of my foot feels like I'm stepping on marbles.  So while I really want to wear heels for the wedding, it might not be possible.  I'm going to pad the shoes up, though, and do a trial wearing them around the house!  When I tried the heels on to take a picture (that turned out waaaay too fuzzy to use), I already noticed how much less comfortable it was, especially since I don't hardly wear heels anymore.  What a shame.


So that's it!  I think I have shared all of my various accessories!  Which shoes would you choose?  Do you, like me, feel like the color coral is taking over the universe?

The Cherry on Top: Part 2

As you might have noticed, I refer to my fiance as "Dino" on here.  This is partially for anonymity purposes, and partially because his nickname to me is "hisnam-osaurus."  And my nickname is "mynam-dactyl".  It really is easier to understand with our actual names, but let's pretend you totally understand.  Anyway, we both like dinosaurs, and our nicknames mean we could use a stegosaurus and a pterodactyl to represent us.  Perfect!

Okay, yes, dinosaurs might be a little childish, and not fit in with anything else at the wedding, but the little inside joke/reference makes us smile, so Dino gave me the green light to come up with something.

My first instinct was to find plastic dinosaur toys.  I could spray paint them to be pink and green, or gray, or whatever.  Maybe add a tiny top hat and veil?  But I ran into a problem quickly - do you know how hard it is to find the right size toy of both a stegosaurus and pterodactyl?  It's pretty much impossible.  I scoured amazon, target, toys 'r us, and anywhere else I could think of.

Okay, seriously?  One quick search now, after I'd long given up, and this set is an option.  They are only up to 3", though...  So still kind of too small.  Image via Amazon.com

So after not finding exactly what I wanted, I had a "Eureka!" moment - why don't I just make some dinosaurs?!?!  No, I hadn't ever made anything of the sort before, and I'm not typically a super artistic person (although my stick figures are pretty sweet!).  But I found myself at Hobby Lobby at lunch one day, in the oven bake clay section, where they had bright green and bright pink clay.  The absolute perfect colors.  And I grabbed a white, a dark blue, and a silver for good measure.

I put off doing anything with the clay for awhile, feeling a little intimidated by the prospect.  But last night I didn't feel like gardening (was still tired from the night before's gardening...  our garden is 75% grass, and I'm pulling it all out by hand!), didn't feel like working on the invitations (although that is #1 priority on my to do list...  It's getting really late!), and didn't want to be too lazy.  So I turned on Dollhouse (great Joss Whedon show...  love how the same actors are always in everything he does!), grabbed the clay and parchment paper, and went to work.

I would post a step by step on how to make clay dinosaurs, but really it was like this: unwrap clay, play with it and mold it into shapes that feel right, keep smoothing the surface where you keep putting nail marks in, and wash your hands thoroughly between handling different colors.  I made the stegosaurus from memory of what it should look like, then looked up a picture of a cartoon pterodactyl to use as reference.

This is the image I used as a reference for my pterodactyl.  Although I just realized I didn't give mine a tail...  whoops!  Image via Google Image Search

About an hour later, my figures were done, and ready to bake.  This part was the most confusing for me, as the package says to bake at 275 for 15-20 minutes per 1/4 inch.  I wasn't sure how to measure the inches, so kind of just did 10 minute increments until they were about to brown...  It ended up being about 40-50 minutes.  And it smelled pretty awful.  Make sure you can open some windows and turn on a vent if you try this!

And with that, they were done!  I'm not 100% happy with them, there are some things I noticed as soon as I took them out of the oven, but I'm pretty proud.  Even Dino said he was impressed with my skillz.  Yes, with a z.

My beautiful dinosaur figures!

I'm not positive that we will use these as the cake topper, or if I'll feel perfectionist-y and have to redo one or both of them, but I think they turned out cute.

Have any of your DIY/craft projects really impressed your significant other?  And would you put dinosaurs on top of your cake?

The Cherry on Top: Part 1

Cake toppers can be so much fun.  They add a little whimsy, or personalization, or just a little extra something to a beautiful cake.  And there are so many options!  When I first started thinking about cake toppers, I knew I probably wouldn't want a traditional one, although those can be so pretty.

There are so many that are cute and less traditional, but still man and wife!  Image via www.weddingwindow.com

Instead I was thinking something more along the lines of our names or something pretty.  I pinned a few of my favorites.

Love these cute birds, and the phrase "Happy Day"!  Image via Etsy Seller SkyeArt

We love puzzles, so this was a cute alternative.  Image via TheEveryLastDetail.com 

More cute little birds!  And the tree is adorable too.  Image via OffbeatBride.com

This is a cute Mr. & Mrs. topper, simple and elegant.  Image via Etsy Seller CreativeStamps

This was the first cake topper I fell in love with, the heart, the names...  perfect!  But just above what I ideally wanted to spend...  Image via Etsy Seller BetterOffWed

After weighing all these options, I decided that I wasn't in love with any of them enough to spend much money on them.  I'd be fine with just flowers, or nothing.  But I also thought I'd try out a crazy idea I had to make it very personal and cute.  And I'll show you what happens when I run free with whims in the next post!

The Internet is Not Real Life

Just had to pop back in.  Last summer I attended my cousin's wedding in Chicago, and they were just blogged!  Here is Jackie & Andrew's Wedding!  It was a beautiful day, and the photos show that.

When I was at the wedding, it was kind of like an undercover spy situation, scoping out the details, what I liked and what I would pass on for my own wedding.  Plus weddings are always just so much fun, filled with love and joy.  But anyway, it was truly a beautiful wedding, and great fun!

However it is interesting to see it from a blog's perspective.  Yes, my cousin and his wife are there, looking amazing and totally in love.  And yes I still have the rock with my name on it, and I did write my name on a leaf for the guestbook.  And it was as fun as the dancing pictures show, and had lots of beautiful personal details during the whole event, like the herbs and such.

But the blog paints a perfect picture, of a perfect day.  Not saying it was bad, because it totally wasn't!  But every event has it's quirks.  In this case, the weather wasn't stellar, though it was great for pictures!  It was chillier than expected.  It didn't show that there were some microphone issues, which I only barely remember because it hurt my ears a couple times!  The glass crushing didn't go as smoothly as the photos show, if I remember correctly.  And the meal was served later than I expected, so our table was starving!

None of that took away from the day, though.  I went away thinking how happy I was for them that they had made this amazing commitment, and how thoroughly I had enjoyed myself.  It wasn't until I saw the blog post that I even remembered some of these things.

It's hard to keep in mind that blog posts only show the best of a wedding.  The most perfect photos.  I don't want to fall into the trap of comparing my wedding, when it happens, to beautiful weddings from blogs. And some things that photograph so beautifully might feel a little staged or unnecessary in person.  To me, getting pretty pictures is important, but most of all I want everything to feel authentic for us and for our guests.  I don't doubt that couples in blog posts are really in love as much as the photos show, but now I'm starting to be more skeptical about how seamlessly their days seem to go.

It isn't fair to compare yourself or anyone else to a blog post, where they handpicked the most beautiful images of the day.  It's hard not to, but now I'm really trying to keep things in perspective.

I'm still here!

I took a little break from this, because I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep blogging, after getting a little disappointment about it.  I just went cold turkey.  I even made a conscious decision this last weekend to NOT take pictures of our tasting cake, because "I'm not a blogger," but now I'm wishing I had.  It is interesting to keep record of all of this!

And so, I'm back.

Little recap of the past month or so:

• My mom is amazing.  She took on the floral stuff, because I was planning to kind of DIY it and wasn't too concerned.  We sat down with her and looked at pictures and discussed various ideas.  This probably deserves it's own post!  But let's just say we're on the same page now and she is my hero for dealing with this stuff.  I couldn't handle any more vendors!
• Projects!  I am almost done with my brooches to be put into my bouquet.  Just 2 more to wire up, and they are the special ones so I was saving them for last.  So yay!
• I also have nearly finished the ring tree, the last step is to reassemble.
• I tried painting some chevron stripes on the card box, but with the gray, blue, and green colors I picked it looked really '80s.  So I painted over the stripes, and need to try again.
• I dismantled all of the Tolsby frames for spray painting, and we bought 3 out of 4 spray paint colors we need.  It's hard to find a good green color.
• Cake!!!!  We tasted cake from Central Market, and it was heaven.  HEAVEN.  So delicious.  They don't do fondant, so my fondant dreams might be crushed, but I think I'll be okay with a fairly simple looking cake.  They can make the middle tier taller, though, which is awesome, and I think we might provide some ribbon or something to put around the tiers.  And they can frost it with stripes, so that is dandy.  Most of all, though, is how amazing it tastes.  I think we might have to try some more flavors... ;)
• Invitations have been... non-existent still.  I realllllly need to make these happen.  Get the idea from my brain into the computer.  I did order pocketfold and gable card samples, and decided it was too fussy for us.  I think that is good in the long run.
• My accessories are nearly complete.  I got my garters awhile ago, and finally found some earrings I like, even though they are a bit heavy.  I have had my necklace and bracelet for months.  And I bought not one, not two, but THREE veils.  I think I have a favorite, but I needed to see.  And they were all a total of under $50, so I don't feel too bad.  I can always resell!  I also bought a pair of pink sparkly Toms, as an alternative shoe.  Last step is to narrow down my shoes: I have pink heels (worried I might sink, so I got SoleMates for them, but it still might not be enough), bright pink flats (that I already wear to work and stuff, so they might not be special enough), sparkly silver flats, and now sparkly pink Toms.  Lots of options, and I can't stop searching for a pair of pink wedges (but stupid Coral is everywhere, so there aren't a lot of true pink shoes around) and pink or silver low-wedged sandals. Argh.
• I got some awesome striped goody bags for the cookies to be taken home in, too.  And more washi tape, paper ribbon, regular ribbon, chevron stencil, chevron punch, and chevron stamps.  Now to figure out how I will actually use these things...

So there we go.  Looks like I need to do a DIY post, a flowers post, an accessories post, and more, but with lots of pictures!  And if we get some more cake to taste, I promise to actually take pictures...  geesh.

Spoiled Rotten

I know I've posted about the difficulties in navigating the whole budget ordeal when someone else is paying, but there is a completely different aspect that I want to discuss today.

First, I want to recognize that I am beyond lucky.  I am so fortunate to have parents who want to help us make this day the most special day of my life, and who want to celebrate in whichever way we want with us. I'm still kind of surprised and shocked that they offered to pay for the whole deal, and I know Dino still feels weird about it.  But we accepted their offer, and have been working with them to get everything planned.

But I can't help but feel guilty.  So many people have to cut corners and make do, and I can nearly pick ANYTHING I want.  I could have other people do literally everything for me if I wanted.  But I want to do a lot myself.  And then I feel like I'm using less expensive resources that someone who actually needs to save money could use.

Plus it is so en vogue to DIY things and have a small budget.  I feel ashamed that I don't particularly have a budget.  I like, don't want to tell people, especially newly engaged friends, because I don't want to look like a snob, and I don't want them to feel like I'm bragging or something.  I'm embarrassed!

So I'm still trying to do a lot of things myself, and put my own personal touches on things.  It might not be necessary, but in my mind it kind of is so we don't end up with a generic, boring wedding.  Not that it would be.  Plus I like to have a little bit of creative control.

I guess my point is that having a larger budget is kind of emotionally sucky at times.  I feel less than because I have more to work with.  I admire people who create weddings on tiny budgets, weddings that are gorgeous and happy and wonderful.  And it is weird to me to not be among that group.

Nasally Nuptuals?

Oh boy, I got taken down HARD this week.  By a cold.  Or whatever.  Basically, I've been sick.  Laying on the couch watching tv for three days straight, crying because my throat hurts so badly, and hacking up a lung kind of sick.  Fun times, right?

I'm not exactly a sickly person, I don't think, but I've always had bad allergies and gotten lots of sinus infections.  But I do occasionally get taken out by a cold or sore throat, leaving me sounding terrible and nasally and just gross.  I'm still coughing my lungs out, and blowing my nose like a foghorn, and still feeling a little crummy.

But now it has me thinking - what if something like this hits me right before the wedding?  I don't want to sound like this while saying my vows!  I don't want to have to go take a nap before dinner because I'm so exhausted!  Yuck!  A friend of ours had a bad stomach flu on the day of his wedding - he didn't even attend the reception because he was so sick.  That sounds seriously awful, and I would probably freak out if that happened.

So what can I do?  Well, maybe I should be better about working out and eating healthy, for starters.  Taking Airborn or Zicam at the first signs of a sniffle would be good too.  Keeping up on the allergy medication I take to make sure that doesn't cause issues.  Get as much stuff done early as possible so the stress doesn't make me more vulnerable to sickness.  And cross my fingers that I don't get sick!

Ugh, I keep saying I need to get stuff done early, but our to do list is looking longer and longer every time I look at it.  I'm using the "I was sick" excuse right now!

Meanwhile in Dream Land...

We're closing in on 150 days until the wedding, and the occasional dreams have started.  They all seem to involve me forgetting something too.

A couple weeks ago, I dreamt I forgot to arrange transportation.  I also forgot who I was marrying, I think, which is a little weird, and it ended up being an old guy...  But anyway, I got all dressed at my parent's house in my old bedroom, and then realized I had to get to the venue!  So of course, I rode the bus.  A bus that was packed with tourists and people, and there I was in a big white dress.

Like this, except I wasn't anywhere near as happy about it!  Image via Bride.net

Then last night I had a dream about wedding rings.  We somehow forgot to buy them!  For me it wasn't a huge deal, since I had the engagement ring.  Dino said he would just put that back on my finger, and since it is biggish anyway, I didn't really need a wedding band.

A reminder of my beautiful ring!  Personal Image

But Dino didn't have anything for me to slip on his finger during the ring exchange, in the dream.  So I decided he should just make a duct tape ring and we'd use that.

Kind of like this, but in black duct tape.  There are a million pictures of way cooler duct tape rings, though, with flowers and bows!  Image via CutOutAndKeep.net

In high school I made myself a black duct tape ring, so I have a feeling that is where that idea came from, but still weird.

I don't like the idea of forgetting things!  Maybe these dreams are related to the fact that I just put together a very extensive to-do list with every little thing left broken out.  But I don't see the wedding dreams stopping anytime soon...  We still have 5 months to go!

An easy decision, but weird consequences...

Dino's dad is a pastor.  He essentially retired, and then decided to go back to school, and become a Lutheran pastor.  Interesting fact, Dino grew up as a Methodist, but it is simpler (I guess) to become a Lutheran pastor than a Methodist one, so that is why my FFIL decided to go that route.  I personally grew up in a Baptist church, with occasional visits to Lutheran churches with family.  But I'm getting off topic.  His dad is a pastor, which made one wedding planning decision incredibly easy!

Guess who will be marrying us!  Yep, Dino's dad, my future-father-in-law, will be officiating at our ceremony.  He performed a wedding or two last summer, so he has a little experience even!  Plus he is a wonderful guy, has a loud voice, and will be able to make our ceremony even more personal.  I have no idea how people choose an officiant that they don't know to take the helm at such a big, personal event.  (Side note: we attended a good friend's wedding who had an officiant go off on weird tangents, talking about how homosexuality was wrong and how wives need to obey their husbands...  it was awkward and kind of awful!)

But this leads to a question I have.  I love the idea of pre-marital counselling.  Some discussion to make sure you're on the same page as your future-spouse, and maybe even, I don't know, a confirmation that you're making the right decision?  I really want to do that.  And usually your officiant arranges that.  But as much as I love my future-father-in-law, I am not so sure about discussing private stuff with him.  He did, however, say he would be sending us some stuff to talk about and work through, so maybe that will be okay.  But I'm a little nervous about that.

Overall, though, I consider us really lucky that we have a fantastic officiant who is part of the family as well as a religious leader.  It makes me so happy to have this option!

A Little Regret?

Throughout most of this process, I have happily booked several vendors after meeting with only one, and have not looked back.  But this last weekend we went to a cake tasting and booked the cake vendor without meeting with any others, and I'm starting to question that decision.

This particular baker has always been on my list.  I heard about them years and years ago, and always dreamed of having one of their beautiful cakes at some event.  I have no doubt they will make a pretty cake, and it will taste pretty good.  But something is just nagging at me.

The tastes we got of the cake were decent.  We liked some of the flavors, and really disliked a couple.  But it wasn't as perfect and soft of a crumb as I hoped.  Then we went into a consultation, and just started making decisions really fast.  I like the concept of the cake we came up with.  I wanted something with different height tiers, and we figured out a way to make that happen.

I like the varying heights of this cake, though both the top and bottom of ours will be the height of the bottom tier here.  Image via WeddingChicks.com

But for one of the tiers I want chevron, and their plan is to print the pattern on edible paper.  I kind of had my heart set on fondant cut out and applied to the cake, but didn't speak up for fear of making it outrageously expensive.

The center tier will be an ombre chevron like this, but all one tier and round.  This looks like the fondant might have the chevron built in, though.  Image via NYMag.com

The top tier here has the texture with the chevron fondant applied on top that I like.  Image via BridalSnob.tumblr.com

So I'm at a crossroads.  We put down a deposit of $50, and I feel like we rushed into this way too quickly.  I don't want to say we were pushed to make a decision, but I am starting to regret jumping into it.  The cake wasn't as delicious as I hoped, and I don't know if it will look how I want.  What to do?  Would it be weird to go to other tastings?  Is it worth it to find a cake we'll be 100% happy with and lose our deposit?  I just can't decide...

Wedding Expert?

When I first got engaged a year ago, I had already been reading wedding blogs for quite awhile.  I was obsessed with weddings and ready to dive in.  Though, really, I just waded in slowly, and appreciated our long engagement.  But I also still felt a lot more lost than I expected.

I'm going to throw in some photos of bouquets to break up the text!

 Love the colors and textures in this bouquet.  Image via RebeccasSilverRose.com

Most brides are planning their first wedding.  Though some have been married before, and some may work in the industry, a lot haven't planned a big party like this before.  Especially not a party full of loaded emotions and expectations like a wedding.  So many vendors and magazines and blogs are telling them what to do and what to like, and it can be hard to find yourself and navigate the waters effectively and easily.  It's pretty stressful.

Lots of dahlias!  And the yellow is kind of fun and bright.  Image via SpringWellGardens.blogspot.com

It took us awhile to figure out what we wanted our wedding to be like.  Dino and I had slightly different ideas, pertaining to formality and such, but we discussed that and started making decisions.  I started making spreadsheets, which is the only way I know to feel like I'm organized and on top of things.  I still felt like I was floundering, and just making decisions on whims occasionally.

This is what I plan to do - mix brooches with real flowers.  Image via FancyPantsWeddings.com

But I think that is okay.  I saved myself stress by making decisions quickly on the venue, photographer, dj, and even the caterer.  They might not have been the best deal in each instance, but I believe they were good decisions.  And now I have some more insight into the wedding planning process.

Another example of the mixed medium bouquet that I like.  Image via TrishaDean.blogspot.com

Over the past few months, SO MANY of my friends have gotten engaged!  It is fantastic.  But since I've been engaged for awhile, I'm starting to feel like the aged, wise, near-expert in weddings.  I think I've gotten a little cocky.  But it is crazy how in just one year I've learned so much!

I like the looser look of this bouquet quite a bit, it is a little more free and natural looking.  Image via AzaleaFloralDesign.blogspot.com

At the wedding I attended last summer, both my cousin who had been married for about 6 months and my new cousin-in-law were telling me they wanted to help out if they could, and how much they missed wedding planning already.  I thought they were just saying that, but I think it might be true.  I would LOVE to be a resource for my newly engaged friends, and anyone else who needs help.  I plan to post my spreadsheets online after my wedding, so others can use my resources.

The Thing about Traditions...

I think traditions exist for a reason.  I mean, they probably came from something crazy and superstitious, but there has to be a reason we keep them up, other than just for the sake of "tradition."

When we first started wedding planning, I was ready to throw all the traditions out the window!  No, I don't want to be walked down the aisle by my father.  No I don't want to do a father/daughter mother/son dance.  No I don't want to throw a bouquet or garter.  Etc. etc.  But now I'm starting to change my mind.

My dad and me, waaaay back in the day.  Personal Photo

I've never really been a daddy's girl, always kind of kept my distance somehow.  My mom and I are fairly close, but still probably not best friends or anything.  But I love my parents, and want to make these memories with them.  I want to look back on the pictures and see their smiles and see their hugs and everything.  I don't really believe my dad will be giving me away at the ceremony, but I think it is important to honor both him and my mom in the work they did to raise me.

At a friend's bachelorette party, we all wore sparkly rings!  Personal Photo

As far as the bouquet and garter tosses, I'm still not 100% decided.  They won't really show who will be getting married next, of course, but they can be fun!  I've always enjoyed trying to catch the bouquet, even though it can be a little awkward (as in, don't try too hard, or else you might freak out your boyfriend!).  And the garter shenanigans can be a little uncomfortable, since I'm not really keen on my family seeing my new husband groping around up my skirt.  But it can be fun to have a little competition, a little break in the dancing.  Another thing to do at the wedding, rather than just eat and dance.  I don't want people to get bored, and these traditions would provide a little entertainment.

Such a cute cake!  I've had this pinned for ages...  Image via TheFauxMartha.com

The cake cutting is one tradition I have always known we would have to keep.  I believe it is supposed to show you working together, but the most important part of this tradition to me is that you get to eat cake!  I love cake too much to skip this!  It also provides a little entertainment for the crowd, a little "will he smash it in her face?  Will she smash it in his?" uncertainty.  Plus we're going to be spending a chunk of money on this cake, so I want everyone to look at it and let it have it's moment in the spotlight before it is devoured!

I feel like I have barely scratched the surface regarding all the traditions involved in weddings, but these are pretty big ones.  I am slowly changing my mind about some traditions, including more than I expected.  But as much as I want to be different and a unique snowflake, weddings are a good time to show people you love them, and make special memories.  I think that is the most important.

Did you surprise yourself by wanting to keep, or even get rid of, certain traditions?

What's in a Name?

Oh changing names.  Such a hot topic these days, it seems.  Is it feminist to keep your name?  To change your name?  Or just to make a decision based on what is best for you?  I believe that everyone's situation is different, and you should decide based on what works for you.

The other night, my future mother-in-law was booking flights for a trip for a few months after the wedding, and called to verify what my name would be at that time.  It was so weird.  I have a flight confirmation for my future name now!  I just have to make sure I get everything changed quickly after the wedding, but I have a couple months.  Also, how lucky are we that we get to get married, go on a honeymoon, and then go on another vacation just a couple months later?!

I've always known I would change my last name.  I mean, yeah, I grew up with this name, and it is fairly short and easy to spell and pronounce, but it isn't that important for me to keep it.  My current name is somewhat common, and there is a less than desirable movie character that shares the name.  In fact, my grandparents shortened their original last name to make the one I have today, and the only people I am related to with the name are my grandparents and immediate family.  So the name is kind of fake, and I get lots of facebook messages asking if we're related, so I won't be sad to see that go.

My future name is pretty common too.  There is another last name that is more common and very similar with just an extra letter in the middle.  I already see how often the name gets mispronounced and misspelled, and I am not looking forward to having two confusing names like that (my first name is always either misspelled or mispronounced.  It isn't hard!).  Plus the new name is a little longer.  When I went to reserve my new email address, because it is so common I had to add not only my first name but also my middle initial!  It is a freaking long email address...

Speaking of middle names, I am keeping my current one.  My mom dropped her middle name and her maiden name is now her middle name, but she didn't like her middle name.  I love my middle name!  Especially with my first name.  I even include it in my signature.

Okay, I'm no Elizabeth Bennet, but I might look somehting like this when I practice my new signature!  Image from Pride and Prejudice, via flurtsite.com

The last thing I've been thinking about is changing my signature.  Currently, my signature is a quick scribble, not even close to legible.  Should I work on making my new signature readable?  It is still crazy unnatural to sign the new last name, but I suppose it'll just take time.

So my reasons for changing aren't really that big or important, but I just feel like it is the right thing for me.  I am excited to start our family with us both sharing the same name.  It will definitely be weird for awhile, though, but I'm trying to work on getting used to it now.