Spoiled Rotten

I know I've posted about the difficulties in navigating the whole budget ordeal when someone else is paying, but there is a completely different aspect that I want to discuss today.

First, I want to recognize that I am beyond lucky.  I am so fortunate to have parents who want to help us make this day the most special day of my life, and who want to celebrate in whichever way we want with us. I'm still kind of surprised and shocked that they offered to pay for the whole deal, and I know Dino still feels weird about it.  But we accepted their offer, and have been working with them to get everything planned.

But I can't help but feel guilty.  So many people have to cut corners and make do, and I can nearly pick ANYTHING I want.  I could have other people do literally everything for me if I wanted.  But I want to do a lot myself.  And then I feel like I'm using less expensive resources that someone who actually needs to save money could use.

Plus it is so en vogue to DIY things and have a small budget.  I feel ashamed that I don't particularly have a budget.  I like, don't want to tell people, especially newly engaged friends, because I don't want to look like a snob, and I don't want them to feel like I'm bragging or something.  I'm embarrassed!

So I'm still trying to do a lot of things myself, and put my own personal touches on things.  It might not be necessary, but in my mind it kind of is so we don't end up with a generic, boring wedding.  Not that it would be.  Plus I like to have a little bit of creative control.

I guess my point is that having a larger budget is kind of emotionally sucky at times.  I feel less than because I have more to work with.  I admire people who create weddings on tiny budgets, weddings that are gorgeous and happy and wonderful.  And it is weird to me to not be among that group.

Nasally Nuptuals?

Oh boy, I got taken down HARD this week.  By a cold.  Or whatever.  Basically, I've been sick.  Laying on the couch watching tv for three days straight, crying because my throat hurts so badly, and hacking up a lung kind of sick.  Fun times, right?

I'm not exactly a sickly person, I don't think, but I've always had bad allergies and gotten lots of sinus infections.  But I do occasionally get taken out by a cold or sore throat, leaving me sounding terrible and nasally and just gross.  I'm still coughing my lungs out, and blowing my nose like a foghorn, and still feeling a little crummy.

But now it has me thinking - what if something like this hits me right before the wedding?  I don't want to sound like this while saying my vows!  I don't want to have to go take a nap before dinner because I'm so exhausted!  Yuck!  A friend of ours had a bad stomach flu on the day of his wedding - he didn't even attend the reception because he was so sick.  That sounds seriously awful, and I would probably freak out if that happened.

So what can I do?  Well, maybe I should be better about working out and eating healthy, for starters.  Taking Airborn or Zicam at the first signs of a sniffle would be good too.  Keeping up on the allergy medication I take to make sure that doesn't cause issues.  Get as much stuff done early as possible so the stress doesn't make me more vulnerable to sickness.  And cross my fingers that I don't get sick!

Ugh, I keep saying I need to get stuff done early, but our to do list is looking longer and longer every time I look at it.  I'm using the "I was sick" excuse right now!

Meanwhile in Dream Land...

We're closing in on 150 days until the wedding, and the occasional dreams have started.  They all seem to involve me forgetting something too.

A couple weeks ago, I dreamt I forgot to arrange transportation.  I also forgot who I was marrying, I think, which is a little weird, and it ended up being an old guy...  But anyway, I got all dressed at my parent's house in my old bedroom, and then realized I had to get to the venue!  So of course, I rode the bus.  A bus that was packed with tourists and people, and there I was in a big white dress.

Like this, except I wasn't anywhere near as happy about it!  Image via Bride.net

Then last night I had a dream about wedding rings.  We somehow forgot to buy them!  For me it wasn't a huge deal, since I had the engagement ring.  Dino said he would just put that back on my finger, and since it is biggish anyway, I didn't really need a wedding band.

A reminder of my beautiful ring!  Personal Image

But Dino didn't have anything for me to slip on his finger during the ring exchange, in the dream.  So I decided he should just make a duct tape ring and we'd use that.

Kind of like this, but in black duct tape.  There are a million pictures of way cooler duct tape rings, though, with flowers and bows!  Image via CutOutAndKeep.net

In high school I made myself a black duct tape ring, so I have a feeling that is where that idea came from, but still weird.

I don't like the idea of forgetting things!  Maybe these dreams are related to the fact that I just put together a very extensive to-do list with every little thing left broken out.  But I don't see the wedding dreams stopping anytime soon...  We still have 5 months to go!

An easy decision, but weird consequences...

Dino's dad is a pastor.  He essentially retired, and then decided to go back to school, and become a Lutheran pastor.  Interesting fact, Dino grew up as a Methodist, but it is simpler (I guess) to become a Lutheran pastor than a Methodist one, so that is why my FFIL decided to go that route.  I personally grew up in a Baptist church, with occasional visits to Lutheran churches with family.  But I'm getting off topic.  His dad is a pastor, which made one wedding planning decision incredibly easy!

Guess who will be marrying us!  Yep, Dino's dad, my future-father-in-law, will be officiating at our ceremony.  He performed a wedding or two last summer, so he has a little experience even!  Plus he is a wonderful guy, has a loud voice, and will be able to make our ceremony even more personal.  I have no idea how people choose an officiant that they don't know to take the helm at such a big, personal event.  (Side note: we attended a good friend's wedding who had an officiant go off on weird tangents, talking about how homosexuality was wrong and how wives need to obey their husbands...  it was awkward and kind of awful!)

But this leads to a question I have.  I love the idea of pre-marital counselling.  Some discussion to make sure you're on the same page as your future-spouse, and maybe even, I don't know, a confirmation that you're making the right decision?  I really want to do that.  And usually your officiant arranges that.  But as much as I love my future-father-in-law, I am not so sure about discussing private stuff with him.  He did, however, say he would be sending us some stuff to talk about and work through, so maybe that will be okay.  But I'm a little nervous about that.

Overall, though, I consider us really lucky that we have a fantastic officiant who is part of the family as well as a religious leader.  It makes me so happy to have this option!

A Little Regret?

Throughout most of this process, I have happily booked several vendors after meeting with only one, and have not looked back.  But this last weekend we went to a cake tasting and booked the cake vendor without meeting with any others, and I'm starting to question that decision.

This particular baker has always been on my list.  I heard about them years and years ago, and always dreamed of having one of their beautiful cakes at some event.  I have no doubt they will make a pretty cake, and it will taste pretty good.  But something is just nagging at me.

The tastes we got of the cake were decent.  We liked some of the flavors, and really disliked a couple.  But it wasn't as perfect and soft of a crumb as I hoped.  Then we went into a consultation, and just started making decisions really fast.  I like the concept of the cake we came up with.  I wanted something with different height tiers, and we figured out a way to make that happen.

I like the varying heights of this cake, though both the top and bottom of ours will be the height of the bottom tier here.  Image via WeddingChicks.com

But for one of the tiers I want chevron, and their plan is to print the pattern on edible paper.  I kind of had my heart set on fondant cut out and applied to the cake, but didn't speak up for fear of making it outrageously expensive.

The center tier will be an ombre chevron like this, but all one tier and round.  This looks like the fondant might have the chevron built in, though.  Image via NYMag.com

The top tier here has the texture with the chevron fondant applied on top that I like.  Image via BridalSnob.tumblr.com

So I'm at a crossroads.  We put down a deposit of $50, and I feel like we rushed into this way too quickly.  I don't want to say we were pushed to make a decision, but I am starting to regret jumping into it.  The cake wasn't as delicious as I hoped, and I don't know if it will look how I want.  What to do?  Would it be weird to go to other tastings?  Is it worth it to find a cake we'll be 100% happy with and lose our deposit?  I just can't decide...