I know I've posted about the difficulties in navigating the whole budget ordeal when someone else is paying, but there is a completely different aspect that I want to discuss today.
First, I want to recognize that I am beyond lucky. I am so fortunate to have parents who want to help us make this day the most special day of my life, and who want to celebrate in whichever way we want with us. I'm still kind of surprised and shocked that they offered to pay for the whole deal, and I know Dino still feels weird about it. But we accepted their offer, and have been working with them to get everything planned.
But I can't help but feel guilty. So many people have to cut corners and make do, and I can nearly pick ANYTHING I want. I could have other people do literally everything for me if I wanted. But I want to do a lot myself. And then I feel like I'm using less expensive resources that someone who actually needs to save money could use.
Plus it is so en vogue to DIY things and have a small budget. I feel ashamed that I don't particularly have a budget. I like, don't want to tell people, especially newly engaged friends, because I don't want to look like a snob, and I don't want them to feel like I'm bragging or something. I'm embarrassed!
So I'm still trying to do a lot of things myself, and put my own personal touches on things. It might not be necessary, but in my mind it kind of is so we don't end up with a generic, boring wedding. Not that it would be. Plus I like to have a little bit of creative control.
I guess my point is that having a larger budget is kind of emotionally sucky at times. I feel less than because I have more to work with. I admire people who create weddings on tiny budgets, weddings that are gorgeous and happy and wonderful. And it is weird to me to not be among that group.
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