Photographer!

Oh goodness, I am starting to feel like we're back on track!  We've gone to try on dresses twice now (just waiting for a good weekend for my FMIL and mom to both be available and healthy to go for a third appointment), and we've made a huuuuuuge decision!  Well, not 100% decided and booked, but it took so long to get to this point that it's worth celebrating!

That's right, we have found a photographer we both love and feel would be a great fit.  I don't want to jinx it, since I still need to set up a time for us to meet with her, but it's so exciting!  She even has our date open still!

The funny part is we have a bit of a connection to her.  I was compiling the world's longest list of potential photographers, and then trying to pare it down to ones whose style I loved and were still at least semi-affordable.  Meanwhile, Dino's former roommate's girlfriend (right?) was telling him to check out his former roommate's sister and her partner's photography.  I had kind of dismissed it, like, oh sure, I bet they are great.  When Dino and I finally sat down to look at the websites for the ones I liked the most from my list, one photographer in particular stood out, with clean, beautiful photography.  Then out of curiosity we started searching for the former roommate's sister, and that same photographer's site kept coming up.  We eventually figured out the sister is the second shooter for that photographer, and we are so pleased!  So I am hoping it is fate and will work out, because seriously.  Such pretty pictures.

So now I'm crossing my fingers that we'll get along well with her, and that my parents will not freak at the slightly high price tag (but it's so worth it!!!  These pictures will last forever, right?  I'm willing to pay for part myself!!).

Personalized Wedding Overkill

When I first started reading wedding blogs, I was unengaged, and thought I was just looking because my friend was getting married.  It was harmless fun, and I learned so much!  One of the first blogs I started reading was Offbeat Bride, and I immediately loved it.  It showed brides and grooms, brides and brides, and grooms and grooms getting married in the way THEY wanted.  They let their likes and passions show through, and made the day completely about them.  This was a revalation.  Brides not wearing white?  Getting married with only a few close friends around?  Wedding cakes decorated with sci-fi themes?  Completely throwing traditions out the window?  I had no idea this could be done, and I LOVED IT!

Over the next year or so of being unengaged, I kept reading, and found other blogs as well.  Weddingbee was a fabulous find, because you could read the whole story from brides, start to finish, and it was more like a story than just a recap or pretty pictures.  I found A Practical Wedding, which was very nice to see.  There people were talking about real things, real life, not focusing on just the wedding day.  They even spoke directly to the unengaged, like me!  It was great.  I read several others, deleting some from my reader because they featured such standard or over-the-top weddings.  More and more, I fell into the wedding blog hole, seeing all kinds of trends pop up, new ideas, and ways to personalize your wedding day.

By the time I got engaged, I'm pretty sure I had forgotten what exactly a "Traditional Wedding" used to look like to me.  You know, the weddings that don't have DIY centerpieces, or unique invitations.  Weddings that have a white 3 tier cake, and a bouquet thrown at the end of the night.  Instead, my mind was swirling with new ideas, making centerpieces out of collected items and mason jars; designing my invites myself; having a complicated, colorful cake; and throwing gift cards tied to flowers!  Everything needs to be different!  Everything needs to scream "US!!!!".

Except it doesn't really, does it?  A wedding is, essentially, 2 people committing their lives together, and their communities witnessing and celebrating that.  A wedding is not favors and photobooths and moustaches on sticks.

My fiance does not have the influence of the wedding blogs, so when we discuss little aspects of the wedding, he leans to the more formal, traditional way of doing things, whereas I always come up with these quirky, more casual ideas.  He probably hasn't seen that brides are wearing short dresses sometimes, and bouquets can be made with buttons or brooches.  He thinks I am crazy when I suggest we write our own vows and include elements in the ceremony from mainstream media.

I forgot what his idea of a wedding is, and it is really hard for me to come to terms with the idea of a formal wedding when there are so many options out there.  Besides, at the end, we really just want to be married and have a nice evening with our people.  But it is hard for me to explain to him that we do have other options too.

So I think what I want to focus on is making the wedding day a good one for our guests, one where they won't be confused by what is going on, and they'll feel like it is, indeed, a wedding.  That means probably combining our two views of weddings so that we can have a little fun with it, but still keep it simple.  I want them to have fun, and I want to be married.  If at the end of the day those two items are checked off my list, I think I'll be happy.

Curveballs

Wowza, I've been slacking hardcore, not only on this blog, but on wedding planning in general!  Although I find it hard to blog about things when I'm not doing anything...

There have also been a few curveballs in my life recently.  My wonderful, amazing, fabulous mother who has always been my rock was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It threw me for a huge loop.  My mom?  My mom who hardly ever gets sick, who is the most successful woman I know, who is caring and loving and such a good person?  It took me quite awhile to come to terms with it, to realize it wasn't a death sentence, to see that she's still the same person, just a little more tired or whatever after her chemo.  I've only known for a couple weeks, though, and I guess she's only known for about that long as well, so we're all still adjusting to the new normal.

But the good news is that she is fighting hard, and she's 1/4 through the worst of her chemo treatments!  She is doing pretty well, it seems, and every time I talk to her I feel better (a little ironic, right?  Who is supposed to be the support system here?).  The cancer hadn't spread, which is the best news.  And on top of that, she was able to come with me to look at wedding dresses for the first time!!!!

It was a little last minute, the wedding dress shopping trip.  My MOH and HLP and BFF and all those acronyms was luckily available, so I made the appointment on Friday for Saturday morning.  That night I called my mom and asked if she would be up for it, and I was so glad she was able to make it.  Having those two was just perfect.  They know my style well enough, and are able to nicely say what works and what doesn't, even if it is different from what I think.  We didn't find anything amazing, but it was such a good learning experience!  I learned that I love sweetheart necklines, and waistlines that hit just above the hip.  I also looooove sleeves, even if my FI wasn't crazy of the photos I showed him (of the rejects!  He won't get to see the dress when I do find it!).  My mom didn't really like the tulle skirts, although I think they grew on her a little.  She also didn't like the colored sashes that I loved, but I think we can come to an agreement there.  My MOH was great too!  Pointed out practical things like bustles and such.  I have a good team on my side.

So, anyway, that is where it stands right now.  My mom told me the one other thing she definitely wants to be involved with is the caterer selection!  I don't blame her!  So that will be one of the next decisions we make.  Although I don't know if I should wait until after the worst of her chemo, so she'll be more likely to be hungry and able to enjoy the food!

I never thought I'd be faced with illness so close to home like this, but my mother is seriously so strong and amazing.  She is fighting through, and staying happy and positive so far.  I am incredibly impressed with her attitude and outlook, and so glad she has the great doctors she has, and my dad to help take care of her while she's not at her best.  I'm lucky to have my mother, and this is making me even more grateful to have such a wonderful woman in my life.  I can't express my love for her enough!!!

Where is the time going?

Is it just me or was it just February like, last week?  And now it is JUNE?!?!  I've been engaged for months now!  Nearly 4 months!

Planning has not made any progress in a month, and I just don't know what to do to get it back on track again. Everything seems pretty daunting. Especially taking into consideration our house projects.  We finally will have some work done on the house this week, and we are almost done painting it, but the biggest, most prohibitive thing is the hardwood floor refinishing.  We've received 4 quotes already, have a 5th in the works, and cannot make a decision!  I am afraid that picking a caterer and a photographer in particular, as well as all the other vendors, for the wedding will be a similar situation, with us thinking and thinking and never making a decision.  Once the house is finished and we're all moved in, though, I won't have any excuses to not start up the planning train again.

I am also a little concerned about my floral situation (well, friend situation, really!).  My friend offered to do them, and fly all the way from Australia to attend our wedding.  However, her sister-in-law (who is American) is getting married soon as well.  I would hate more than anything for her to have to take 2 trips here, or if she could only take one, she'd have to pick family, of course!  I would 100% understand, but it would be so hard for her and I'd hate to make that happen.  It sounds like she's trying to get both our events to be in the same month at least, so she can attend them both in one trip, but only time will tell.  And honestly, the flowers mean next to nothing when compared to having a great friend be there!

Someday the wedding stuff will start falling into place and I'll have all kinds of things to report on and discuss.  But right now?  I'm just hanging in here, trying to finish one project before really starting on the next, and thanking goodness that we chose a date so far out!

The new house!

I thought it was prudent to mention why it's been so silent...  I mentioned it over a month ago, but we finally, finally, finally closed on our house!  We are homeowners.  With a house that needs a new roof and the floors done.  Among other things!  Yikes.  This expensive but super exciting adventure has been taking up 90% of my free time lately!

On the wedding front, it's been slow.  The current thought for colors is Gray, Navy Blue, with accents of Pink and Green.  I think it sounds fun.  We are considering having the boys on his side wear gray suits with green ties, then the guy on my side with a gray suit and a pink tie, and my MOH in a pink dress (or would a gray dress with a pink sash fit better?).  We've already changed our minds over a million times, so...  Who knows what we'll end up with, though.

I've also been doing research.  Lots and lots of research.  Who knew there were SO MANY photographers in the area?  I have a spreadsheet a mile long of photographers alone, and those are just the ones whose styles I liked.  I need to sit Dino down to review some of them with me, just to get an idea of what he likes as well.

And then there are the caterers.  I kind of have my heart set on one in particular, but I'm not sure how full service they are.  We'll need them to do a lot of set-up and stuff, since I don't want to subject my family and friends to that on the day.  And I don't want to do it either.  I haven't really found tons of caterers yet, though, probably because I've been filtering through so many photographers!

It is actually kind of nice to have two major things to plan and think about.  When I get tired of searching photographers, I can always go to pinterest for home design ideas (specifically wood floor stain colors at this moment...).  Then when that gets tiring, pinterest has tons of wedding inspiration as well!  Fabulous!

I must be so boring in real life, all I talk about is the house or the wedding!

Career vs. Relationship

This isn't exactly wedding related, but it's something I've been thinking about...

My life lately has been a dichotomy.  One half is WONDERFUL!  Completely satisfied!  Happy as a clam!  The other half is depressed, downtrodden, and desperate. 

When I graduated college, I landed a sweet gig, working in my mom’s office, doing something I was fully capable of.  Excellent.  Then I decided I wanted a partner in life, a man to share my life with.  So online I went, and presto!  Not 3 months later I had found an amazing guy!  So I started pouring more and more time into our relationship, and no longer was as invested in my job because I suddenly had a life.   I moved slightly closer to my man, and things were looking good.

Jump forward two years, and I had HAD it.  First off I lived over a half hour away from my love.  Can you imagine?  (I’m being sarcastic now, but it sure felt like the world was ending then!)  Plus I just couldn’t take my job anymore.  It was mind-numbing.  Soul-crushing.  I hadn’t intended to be at that job forever, and my time was up.  My company and I decided together that I was ready to move on, and they gave me 2 months to figure out my next move.  I thought “hey, I can get a new job, one closer to my boyfriend!” but neglected to line up a new job prior to quitting.  On the VERY LAST DAY of my employment, I got an offer for a job.  A part time, boring, low level job.  I took it!

With the new job meant I needed to find a new place to live.  Although we had discussed never, ever moving in together before engagement, suddenly I had a job that was 15 minutes from his place, and over an hour from my parents’ (I gave up my expensive apartment in the midst of job quitting.  When changing one thing, I like to change everything).  So I was going to spend work nights at his place, and other nights at my parents’.  But then, as tends to happen, I decided I liked being around him more.  So I just kind of stayed.  And stayed.  And soon enough, I was living there too.  Which was fine. 

My new job turned out to be a nice change... for awhile.  I loved working part time, but hated the pay.  I got the chance to move to full time, and did, but it meant taking on more small tasks.  It too became mind-numbing and soul-crushing.  I realized I still had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up, just that I wanted to be with my boyfriend. 

After college I managed to get a couple okay jobs (yes, I realize I am super lucky to have had solid employment since graduation, but it doesn’t mean they are good jobs), while focusing most of my time on my relationship and love.  I forgot to get a career of any sort. 

I wish there was a happy ending to this, but I’m still in the thick of it.  On the wonderful side, my man proposed to me almost exactly a year after I snuck/moved in to his place!  On the depressing side, I still don’t like my job and I still don’t know where to go with my career.  One half of my life is pretty much smooth sailing and all figured out!  The other half is floundering around helplessly, making grand plans that soon get smooshed by practicality and indecision.  I am so grateful for my relationship, but find myself hoping we can get married and have kids already so I’ll have a good excuse to stop working my dead-end job!  But life doesn’t work that way, I’ve found.

Everything is happening at once!!!

Such excitement lately!  Hence my absence - we've been focused on buying a house lately, and on Sunday, we found one we love!  Put an offer in Monday afternoon, offer accepted Monday night, inspection Wednesday morning...  And now we have to arrange more inspections for the variety of issues found.  So it isn't perfect, but I love the house and think it will be fantastic once it's all fixed up!

Sunday was a very exciting day for another reason!  After touring the house we're now trying to buy, we went to a beautiful venue, the Rosehill Community Center in Mukilteo, to participate in the lottery they hold for the next summer - as in 2013.  Perfect!  So we lined up, ended up 4th in line, but that doesn't matter, because they have you draw a number.  Now, they had a LOT of numbers in the lottery.  Probably more than 500.  And there weren't that many couples there.  So when we drew #41, we thought our chances would be good to get a date we wanted...  and we were right!  We got to pick second, and got the date I've been hoping for all along.  Woo!  We also were able to reserve the outside grassy area for the ceremony, which has an amazing view. 

This is the outside, our venue is right inside those huuuuuuge windows!  Photo from City of Mukilteo.

This is kind of the view, although there is much more water visible in person.  Photo from City of Mukilteo.

This is the lobby, but can you believe how gorgeous it is?!?!  Photo from City of Mukilteo.

So we have our venue and our date!  Two HUGE things, that I am super happy to have locked up.  And my mom approved of the location, even though she didn't get to see it beforehand.  The only downsides to this venue is 1) no hard alcohol or kegs, and 2) no sparklers or throwing anything.  But, we can still brew beer to serve as long as we bottle it, and we can have bubbles or ribbon wands or something else if we want!  So I think it will be a great great place to get married.  Seriously, you should see the view. 

Next up: finish buying a house.  I am so incredibly glad we are waiting until NEXT summer to get married, there is no way we would be able to do all of this at once.  On top of everything, I'm also taking a bartending class this week and next week for kicks and funsies, but it sure is making life a lot busier.  I am exhausted!